At this moment, there is a public war- a genocide on Palestine-Israel, a public war on Russia-Ukraine, and many wars/conflicts around the world, and all over most people I would say. When the conflict in the Middle East began, I felt the pressure from social networks to take a side, to defend one perspective of the conflict, to declare where I stood. Then, another layer emerged, transcending polarity and separation. It was a call to stop the attacks, the violence, the desperation and suffering of countless mothers and children being killed. Yet, simultaneously, in many places worldwide, most children are unheard, living under deep oppression of who they truly are, being deeply conditioned to live to certain standards depending on where they are.
Yesterday, on October 31, was the so called Halloween, which has a whimsical side-a day where everyone can express their darker sides and feeling free to accept sweets from whoever wants to share and receive, mostly lived unconsciously, I would dare to say. A day that children and adults alike can get wild, and indulge in candy as they want, until moms decide to disappear the candy bucket because it's gone far enough. Yes, I was one of them. On the other hand, I can't help but notice the freaking excessive production of tons of gimmicky plastic stuff that will eventually end up in landfills, polluting our gorgeous world, creating a daily Halloween scene for many animals, the water streams, and many communities in certain parts of the world.
Now I see people hanging around on the other side of the world, celebrating Halloween as well. In places where it isn't a traditional part of their culture, my heart becomes heavier. This leads me to question why we pass down certain practices, rather than seeking peace and celebrating life. What would that look like?
Could it be that our current duty is simply bear witness to the messiness we are living in and accept its presence? To embrace the darkness and recognize it as integral part of our existence. A few days ago, I sat in a Council Circle where the topic was war, and an exploration of what is in our hearts at the moment. I delved into different layers of feeling-profound deep sadness, not unfamiliar to me, sadness about how we treat one another. Then, a layer of sinister delight, childish malevolent joy, about the idea that if all those who hate each other were to kill themselves, the problem would be resolved. A layer of anger towards the glorification of certain wars while others have raged on for years, ignored by the world. A disdain for the war industry that we have allowed to thrive. A layer of anger over the constant repetition of toxic and traumatic patterns. A layer of deep love and laughter in the here and now. A layer of gratitude for being alive during this time of profound transition. A layer of excitement for the opportunities at our fingertips. A layer of fiery determination with a burning desire to create a more loving world. And there are still many layers within me, in constant motion.
I felt like I did when I was 9 or 10 and couldn't comprehend the dissonance between what was being said and what was being done. It is a very disorienting sensation, as the mind seeks to rationalize what the heart struggles to grasp, but knows deep under. There is often little to no space to discuss it, and mostly a collective unwillingness to explore it as a whole. Now, at my 51, I know I have the capacity to hold these conflicting emotions while also experiencing peace and joy, and laugh and happiness with the ones I love. The more I lean into Love itself, the more I can hold space for. This is possible because I feel safe to open up.
I find myself dreading the end of the year, as my inner "Grinch" grows sadder and more frustrated with Christmas. I either contemplate retreating to a monastery and reemerging at the start of the next year or begin to dream and imagine about how I want to spend the next season and what traditions do I want to pass on to celebrate life and togetherness.
How are you navigating the realms of war and peace in your personal world? What's in your heart?
With much love,
Aurora
hey, I would love to hear your answers...